"the ability and desire to behave in the way that you've taught them, even when you're not there"
Happy Friday!!!
Those of us participating in Jamie's Happy Book club are encouraged to blog about what helped make us happy each week.
It's inevitable when raising a teenage girl, that their own sense of morals, self-esteem and self-respect will come into play. Thank the gods that my hatchling and I have excellent communication, because it's been an adventurous week in the life of my little 13 year old. I'm so grateful for her openness and willingness to "keep me in the loop" of her day to day life. Of course I wouldn't have it any other way, and ask her daily about school, her feelings and experiences, her peers, etc.
Over the years, I've worked hard to built up a trust between us. As she grows into a teen, I am determined to keep the lines of communication between us open. I don't judge. I listen intently and try not to react in a way that will put her off. I talk to her with loving acceptance & guidance, gentle direction and of course my own voice of experience.
It's a completely different dynamic that I had with my own mother; who was emotionally unpredictable to put it mildly. She would scream & throw things, regardless of what "set her off". It all depended on her frame of mind that day, not necessarily the actual circumstances. She could flip out over the most trivial things and yet completely detach herself from more serious matters. I learned to lie a LOT. I learned to keep things from my mother just to do my share of keeping the peace in our dysfunctional home. She certainly wasn't a mother I felt comfortable sharing anything with.
I remember when I found out I was having a baby girl, (via ultrasound). I thought to myself..."I'm just going to remember everything MY mother did, and do the opposite".
Which brings me to the genuine love and happiness I feel being a mother, an unconditional love I never knew before having my own daughter.
I admit, even the everyday stuff scares me, makes me second guess myself, and read too many parenting books. I do the best I can, and have learned that imperfect parenting is ok, if it's based on unconditional love and acceptance.
This past week, my hatchling made me happy, proud and so aware of how quickly she's growing up. She's been "dating" a boy. At 13 and in our small town, "dating" is chatting on MSN and Facebook, walking home from school together, and (gasp), a hug good-bye. It is hanging out at lunchtime, skate-boarding and shooting baskets in the school yard. However a particular boy my daughter has been dating kicked it up a notch and was critical about "not getting any action from her". Well the mother bear in me wanted to go smack this kid upside the head, I encouraged my daughter to deal with it on her own...which of course, she preferred. She told him where to get off, that he's not going to get any "action" from her, and that he can go date....(insert a few names of girls considered to be trashy at their school).
What also made my heart swell with pride was the way she stood up to peer pressure.....the couple of girls who were telling her she was over-reacting and such. My kid can definitely express her feelings diplomatically and effectively and stick to them, instead of succumbing to peer pressure.
So yeah, that's what made me HAPPY this week! I love my hatchling!!!
*new slang I've learned this week....."action" means french-kissing, and "green" refers to pot or someone who smokes pot. "He's green you know" OR "He's really got to stay away from the "green".
So, what made YOU happy this week?
