I'm Baaaaack!

Welcome to my blog's new look. A bit more tweaking and the makeover will be complete.

It's impressive in a "MacGyver" sort of way. I have a diploma in graphic design and yet I work on my yard sale computer (circa 1998) with it's primitive paint-shop program.
Ahhhhh....the bohemian-ness of it all...one of the unsavory realities that comes with living "gently outside the norm."

Peace & Mac laptops

Blog, Interrupted

whew!
I've been working on a new blog template to give my muse a nudge and PANIC!
I lost my whole blog!
But after much playing around with html codes and all that stuff, I was able to retrieve my blog.....YAY!!!!
It's in a different format...a generic template, but it's back and it's safe for now, until I finish designing my new one.
See ya soon and have a wonderful weekend!
peace & hugs

Celebrating Girls

Yesterday was the first day of my hatchling's summer vacation. Some of my closest friends took my daughter and I out to a lunch buffet at a trendy new restaurant.
We celebrated my daughter's successful journey through grade 6, and the fact that I had just a little bit to do with that ;)

It's been a very different year, this grade 6, quite a transitional year compared to grade 5.
She sailed through the first birth pains of peer pressure. She was exposed to other kid's dysfunctional home lives and their resulting lack of self esteem, and depression. She witnessed first hand some kid's poor choices involving use of alcohol, and smoking of both cigarettes and weed. (shudder). And she was strong enough and smart enough to recognize these destructive behaviours for what they are....and to avoid them.
I am so incredibly proud of her.

Girls seem to want to grow into adulthood so quickly...wearing makeup, dyeing and streaking their hair is common among my daughter's peer group. (I blame the impact of the media). I believe that it's important for them to understand that as much fun as "dressing up" can be, their true beauty comes from within, and their "sparkle", like ours, happens when they're happy and allow themselves to truly be themselves.

We need to build our daughters self-esteem while honouring their shifts into adolescence and puberty. I remember too well the roller-coaster ride through my own adolescence, and naturally I want to protect her and keep her safe. Even though I know she needs to grow up on her own, and into her own person... I can still gently guide her and steer her in the right direction.

I believe a huge part of my hatchling's growth is feeling comfortable and secure enough to talk to me without being judged. I established this communication with her from the beginning. I've always listened and respected her views while allowing her to make choices; (within reason), ie: choosing her own clothes, books to read, and food to eat. It was an effective way of developing her self-confidence while she was still a toddler. She knows I love her and she knows she matters.

So far, in this single mother-hood journey, although I know that "at the end of the day", they will follow their own path. I'm also learning the value of directing our values and morals towards our kids, influencing their choices with intelligent and rational reasoning.
And I am so very, very proud of my daughter. She's growing into such a smart, strong, and confident and independent tween, with a solid mind of her own.
I love her so much, and although single motherhood can be a scary independent road, and quite often a financial struggle to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table, I wouldn't trade it for the world. My daughter is the best thing I've ever done!
peace & hugs

Whirlwind Week

my hatchling on the far right

Wow, it's been crazy-busy around here with the end of another school year approaching.
My hatchling sang and danced in the school's talent show, kicked butt at track & field, and once again won awards and brought home a straight A report card. I am so very proud of her and although time is racing by, we are looking forward to her entering grade 7 in the fall.




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Other news...
Now, I've been to many a party of my older brother T's, but nothing compared to his 50th birthday bash on the weekend. I still can't believe he fit over 50 people in his house! Besides family and his everyday friends, there were guys from his work, from his sports teams, from his old band, from university, even friends he went to high school with. I think it's a testament to a person's character when your friends from your high school garage band show up to celebrate you turning the big 50.

There were designated areas to ensure everyone had a great time...the poker table and ongoing game.


The giant screen TV with X-box competitions. The fuse ball tournament. Even their big backyard was packed. Music and hugs and kisses and well wishes, presents, cards,..and food, food, everywhere, food! And although I don't drink, the keg was flowing like a Roman god statue!





my brother's daughter, my niece, home from university for the summer.



my nephew, also home from university for his dad's celebration, hamming it up.
(notice my brother still looks 25!!!...I am so jealous!)




the biggest birthday cake I've ever seen


my hatchling and my niece in the cake eating contest


me & my brother's best friend from high school

It was a huge success and I am so proud of my brother. He's only a few years older than me and yet has blazed a trail of accomplishments I can only hope to achieve.
We've long outgrown the days of sibling rivalry, as siblings do, and I can't express with simple words what a role model he has been to me, and now to my daughter.

And as the saying goes...50 isn't old...(if you're a tree!).
Happy half century T.
xo

Dream Boards & Manifesting

It seems to me that I have spent almost half my life trying to figure out my life. After much reading, and a general interest and investigation into almost every religion/belief system out there, I have come to feel the pagan path is right for me. It makes sense, it's earth-centred, based in nature and feels right to me. Also I love the principles of Buddhism and find it a very soothing and peaceful way of life.

I believe that before we are born, our soul makes a sort of blueprint, we lay out the general path we want to take, the situations that need to occur to provide us with the lessons we need to learn. I believe we even choose our own parents.(It would explain a lot!) We pay and receive our karmic debts and hopefully learn from it and become more enlightened.
But we are also given free will and choice. Although we are walking the path of our spiritual "blueprint", we are still building a life. We face situations that require us to make choices. We hope that we make the best choices for our spiritual growth and evolution. (I know myself, I've had to repeat some lessons in this life, before I learned what I was supposed to from them...whew!).

That said, our thoughts are energy. Our mind can focus our energy on an idea with our undivided attention and then, physically transfer those thoughts from our physical (eyes, mind, hands, etc), to any object, subject or even ethereal realm for manifestation. The energy can be directed and controlled by us changing our behaviour to accomplish the results we want....aka - the Law of Attraction.

Yesterday, a group of us took part in Suzie's Dreamboard project. We each made a board decorated with pictures, words, phrases and anything else that represented what we want to manifest in our lives. Yesterday was the full moon, a time for releasing old habits and giving energy to new ideas and things we want for our lives.

I had fun creating my dream board, setting new goals and launching them to the universe. Kudos to Suzie for her insight and encouragement with this project.
peace & hugs
xo

Focus, Breathe, Think it

our kitty "Yin-Yang"

So much in my life lately is about finding balance. I've been feeling a pull towards a move again (yang), because it's "that time of year". But I've decided to stay put(yin). I love my apartment, and although both me & my daughter feel the itch to move again, it only comes from our gypsy habit of never staying in one place for very long.
So instead, I've been clearing away the physical clutter (how the hell do I accumulate so much stuff?), and am preparing for a space clearing ceremony to get rid of the negative, stale energy in here.
We had awesome thunderstorms almost all weekend, and I opened my windows wide to allow the winds to blow in and recharge the old energy in here.
I am working on my dream board for Suzie's blog. I am manifesting all sorts of things, but mostly a new and decent paying job. Then I'll be able to afford this apartment without struggling all the time, hence loosing the urge to be looking all the time for a cheaper place. It takes too much of my time looking through ads and going to see apartments, weighing the pros and cons, not to mention the packing and actual relocating...that's always fun. I'd rather direct my energy to more constuctive projects, like working my ass off so I can afford to get a car on the road again.
Today's assignment - pimp up my resume and check out the local job boards, etc.
....and juice some carrots & celery for breakfast, and do some yoga poses...I've GOT to loose this winter weight...but that's another post.
peace & hugs
xo

The Girl Effect

Wow, you guys are awesome! Thanks for all your affirming comments...it helps so much and I really, really appreciate each and every one of you. (And I PROMISE to get over to your blogs and see what's new with you.)

In the meantime, a friend sent me this in my email, and I love, love, love the message it gives.

The One where Boho-Mom Got Her Groove Back

~ So I live in an apartment that I can barely afford.

~So my internet bill is outstanding and threatening to disconnect me.

~So I smoke cigarettes and throughout my many attempts to quit, have developed a new addiction...Tostitos. So now I have scary lungs and an extra 12 pounds of Tostitos weight.

~So I have 3 shitty part-time jobs, 2 college diplomas and a million resumes with nowhere else I can think of to send them in my economically depleted town.

~So I need a car badly.

~So I have a sink full of dishes and piles of laundry to catch up on.

~So I have left a trail of abusive boyfriends and pointless relationships behind and am not even sure I even want a relationship again.

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~I live in an awesome and huge apartment.

~I have internet right now, and an awesome, understanding and supportive tribe of blogging buddies.

~I am determined to quit smoking, and will succeed.

~I don't care if I have a little Buddha belly and a fat ass. I love my body...it's been good to me and I am in better shape than some of my friends who are 10 years younger than me.

~I have 2 college diplomas, tons of job experience, and a kick-ass resume.

~I have dishes and laundry to do, and I don't care. There will always be dishes and laundry....my daughter is growing up too fast and I'd rather spend time with her.

~I have learned a lot about myself, my strengths, and my ideals through my past disastrous relationships. I know I'll be ready when the right guy comes along because he will respect my independence and share my hippie values.

~I have a supportive and authentic circle of friends, who think my quirky ways are cool, support and see me through my bad choices, never say "I told you so", and are there for me always.

~I have a strong, bonded & loving family, who know me best and love me anyway.

~And I am Mom to the most precious, perfect, beautiful, healthy, intelligent, talented, well-adjusted kid in the world!