Feeling Whole

Do you ever have those moments of absolute peace & bliss? Of empowerment and euphoria? And hope? Those moments when you feel the whole world is meant only for the palm of your hand? Happy adrenaline pumped endorphins rushing from your brain throughout your bloodstream....and I'm not talking about drugs or getting high. Just 100% natural bliss!

First I want to thank you all for your comments and encouragement on yesterday's wishcasting post. I'm slowly & carefully weighing the pros & cons of moving to a larger city (likely Toronto), with my hatchling this spring when she finishes grade 8. I'm thinking and processing and considering, I'm optimistic but keeping it real, brave and yet fearful. The only way I can avoid this move and remain in this one-horse, one mall town, is to be able to get a car on the road again. That way, I could access employment anywhere up to about an hour away from where we live. Although these are rough economic times in my vicinity, there is a small offering of jobs outside my city bus boundaries.
I'm quite psyched about a move to Toronto, and last night I stayed up late with a pot of chai tea and searched the internet for apartments in the safer, more desirable areas of Toronto. Wowza!! Such high rents! But then again, for my income level here, I'm paying too much rent. Being that Toronto has so much more job opportunities for me, it's all relative.

Today I have access to my friend's car....all day. I am ecstatic. I intend to make it a worthwhile day, following up every job lead, and dropping resumes everywhere.
Driving is such a thrill for me, such a rush to my self-esteem. I feel in control of my life and my circumstances....something that has been just out of my grasp for so long now.

I feel free, I feel hopeful, I feel productive....not trapped by my car-less circumstances in what is most definitely a car community. I always teach my daughter that life isn't about "things" or "the stuff". I raise her to not be materialistic. However, a car, in my opinion, in my life, is as necessary as food & shelter...and today I have that gift. Today I feel whole.
I'm outta here!

Wish me luck on finding a job that pays more than minimum wage, so that I can afford my own car. So that I'm not working just to keep my head above water, rent & bills paid and food on the table! I need to have something extra, to put away each week, to be able to afford my pathetic little dream that would change my life!!
Out to the Universe friends! Send it out to the Universe....please & thank-you!
peace

A Dream to Explore

On this first Wednesday Wishcasting of 2010, our fearless leader Jamie asks us...

What dream do you wish to explore?

I've mentioned recently on my blog that if things don't pick up for me financially, I'm going to have to suck it up and make a move to where the jobs are. That would likely be Toronto. Although the cost of living is much more expensive there, it's all relative. When I'm earning so little here and there are no jobs in this crashing economy, the $2.50 for the transit is expensive for me!

So the dream I wish to explore is this possible move to Toronto. It would result in better living conditions, and would also open up a world of opportunities for my growing hatchling.
I love Toronto. I feel alive when I'm there. I feel hopeful and enthusiastic and that life is great. Here, I feel old and worn down by being "stuck" in my circumstances.
Therefore, I think I'm going to make many day/weekend trips this winter to evaluate and decide if it would be a good move for us. We have some friends there, and of course my wonderful brother lives there too. I just have to make hatchling realize that it wouldn't be all shopping extravaganzas and eating in fancy restaurants all the time, as it is when we visit my brother. He's so generous and loving and supportive, but I won't move there unless I'm certain that I can make it on my own.
I think it's a great dream to explore.


hatchling & I going to see an opera that my bro directed




having dinner at a trendy outdoor cafe




me & my friend Amy at pre-opera party



my hatchling & my brother out for breakfast




meeting a great family friend for breakfast before a day of shopping!

Life is wonderful and exciting and stimulating for me in Toronto!

To join us in Wednesday Wishcasting, go here.

Let It Snow...finally!

"Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it"...Mark Twain





"Bella" - my hatchling's chee-wow-wa out in the snow for her before bedtime pee.



and back inside (and yes, I think my hatchling is trying to teach her to drink from a straw?)



As some of you know, I live in Ontario, Canada. An area on our globe known for it's cold & snowy winters. Yeah. Ummm, wow.
What a day.
After a crappy, rainy summer followed by a rainy autumn leading into early winter with no snow and only a handful of actual cold days, we finally got hit with the white stuff. What we usually experience as soon as early November, waited until these past few days. My hatchling was finally able to go tobogganing with her friends and the local park with it's hills was jammed packed with kids who've been waiting for this.

Big fat snowflakes fell heavily and steadily all day long while me & a friend drove the slippery, slushy, mostly unplowed roads, targeting all the grocery stores with the best sales. We both enjoyed our Christmas holidays with our kids and waited until the last possible minute to start prepping them to return to school tomorrow.
After days of turkey leftovers, X-mas cookies, and lazy days eating cereal for lunch, it was time to re-stock the bread, lunchmeat, drinkboxes, ziplock baggies, granola bars and the variety of portable fruits & veggies that make up our "school lunches staples" list.

It's still snowing out there and although my hatchling & her friends are hoping for a "snow-day" tomorrow, I had to tell her to "get real" and go to bed. It just seems like a lot of snow, because it's our first this winter.

I've lived in this area all my life and cannot recall winter ever coming so late in the season. Global warming? The Greenhouse Effect?
I believe so.


Here's a really interesting link: The Top 100 Effects of Global Warming

peace

One Word

"Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself"...Chinese proverb

Action. My word for 2010.
Like many of you, I don't make New Year's resolutions anymore.

Last year I chose empower.
And I empowered myself throughout 2009, I really did.
I made some necessary changes, letting go of the toxic people in our lives, fighting back a conniving and loser slumlord who tried to make my life a living hell. I also took my power back from the demon of Tostitos (lmao), exercised and walked A LOT to fit into my skinny jeans again.
Being empowered is a great thing.

This year, I will take Action. Every. Day. towards my dreams (finishing that book!), my life (getting that car!), and my finances (getting that great job!). If I need to move my hatchling and myself to a more economically thriving city....I will. Whatever it takes....2010 is the year of ACTION!

What's your word?