
And so hatchling and I have returned to our home in our little town that is a fraction of the population of Toronto. While it's good to be greeted by our kitties and relax in our cozy little apartment with our backyard and veggie garden, in some ways it's an anti-climatic letdown to come home.
Friends of mine drove up to Toronto so we wouldn't have to take the bus home with hatchling's puppy. We went out for breakfast with my brother and hugged good-bye until next time. (Halloween Zombie Walk in October - yay!!!)
It was a great week and I did a lot of soul searching while wandering the streets with my Starbucks lattes, tall, with a shot of vanilla...yum.

I have decided that I hate my small town with no job opportunities, but love my apartment and our lifestyle that is so close to mother earth.
I've also decided that I'd love to live in Toronto, but can't decide if the desire to do so or fear of failure is stronger. Although there are many more job opportunities there than here; although
I wouldn't need a car there; the cost of living is much higher than here. Plus the fact that I'm not sure about raising a teenager on my own in Toronto. I have been blessed with the most easy-going, confident and socially adaptable hatchling you could ever imagine. She's up for anything, anytime. The kid would board a plane and move to Australia tomorrow.
The one thing I dislike about being a single mom, is that all the decision making falls on my shoulders. All the big choices and decisions are left solely up to me and it's terrifying sometimes, because I know that I alone am responsible for this child, so I better make the right choices, lead her down the best paths, and do my absolute best not to fuck her up. So far, so good.

Regarding Toronto, there are the dangers, but also the opportunities that our area doesn't offer.
I moved away with hatchling once, when she was 6 years old, to a bigger city with more employment opportunities. But I crashed my car after 2 months of being there, got busted for driving with no insurance, (note to single mothers - always pay car insurance, even if it means going without food). Without a car and knowing only one person there, I hated it, and we moved back home after 7 months, as soon as hatchling completed her school year.
Of course that shook my confidence. I'm not so sure anymore that I could pull off a big relocation, a much bigger world for both of us. And with regards to Toronto, as much as I feel "in my element", I am very uncomfortable going underground and therefore avoid the subways at all costs, also elevators....claustrophobic much?
Anyway....just putting it out there.......
