Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Honesty



The fabulous Rebecca has passed this award on to me.

The Honest Scrap award. Alas...I have to write a list of 10 honest things about myself. Really honest!

Here goes...

1. I axe-murdered and buried 3 ex-husbands in my backyard...
no? LMAO- okay, I'll start again.

1. I am secretly married to Anderson Cooper....don't believe that one either, huh?

okay - for real this time...

1. I am a famous published author who writes under the pseudenom Stephen King.

(are we having fun yet?)

Okee-dokee.....here we go! For real this time....and real honest!

1. I am a horrible housekeeper. A slob. It takes everything I have to wash the dishes some days. I despise it all...cleaning, vacuuming, laundry, cleaning out the fridge, making beds, cleaning the toilet - despise it all. Grocery shopping, cooking & baking I like.

2. I rearrange furniture constantly. I've always been like this, even when I lived at home, I would move my bedroom furniture around all the time. I've been told this is classic behaviour in creative people, but I've lived in this apartment just over 2 months and I've changed the livingroom around 3 times already!

3. I love to move. Again, not sure why, but I start to get bored and antsy after living in the same apartment for a couple years.

4. I went from dating white trash LOSERS to being the most picky girl in the world. Nobody is good enough now. Just one more way being a mother changes us drastically.

5. I LOVE scary movies. I mean LOVE THEM!!! I love to rent the creepiest thing I can find, turn out all the lights and curl up on the couch, hugging pillows tight against me. I find an odd thrill in seeing how scared I can get before my head explodes with adrenaline.

6. I have never wanted to get married. I grew up watching and despising my mother who was so hyper-dependent on my dad for everything. I think it turned me off marriage in an unhealthy way. I've always felt a need to prove to myself that "I can make it without a man".

7. When my daughter was 6 weeks old, I crashed, big time. My friend took me to the hospital because she thought I was dying. Turned out I was dehydrated, malnourished, weighed less than 100 lbs, and had serious sleep deprivation. I had to spend the night in the ER. They knocked me out with some kind of pill, and pumped IV bags through me all night. I started weaning my hatchling off the breast the next day, onto formula. I felt like a failure as a mom. My daughter had thrived these first 6 weeks, gaining weight steadily, but depleting me of everything I had. Maybe if I hadn't been living on coffee and popsicles, I could've done better. I learned fast how to start taking better care of myself.

8. I moved 2 hours away to a bigger city when my hatchling was 6 years old. I had just finished 2 more years of college and wanted to access a "booming job market". After a month and a half, I totalled my car and couldn't afford another one. I couldn't cope, knew 2 people in the whole city and hated navigating the bus system. So, after 7 months, we moved back home to the area I grew up in. I still feel if I could've held onto my car, I could've made a better life for us there.

9. In this same big city, I lived in the "projects". Affordable housing - "geared to income rent" and really beautiful apartments. But every 3rd apartment had a pit-bull rotweiler type dog, cops coming to the building for "domestic violence" calls all the time...it was a beautifully disguised ghetto, is what it was. But hey, cheap rent.

10. My dad was the inventor of Pop Tarts. (kidding!!! -lol)


Now, instead of tagging people, if you like this REAL HONEST meme, consider yourself tagged, grab the award, and list 10 honest things about yourself.

Then pass the award on to bloggers who you feel embody the spirit of the "Honest Scrap".

Sunday, January 4, 2009

The Year of the Sock Monkey



Thanks to everyone for all your reassuring comments that resolutions are "for the birds" as Genie Sea said.

And squishie hugs go out to the fabulous Brandi for introducing me to this blog.

I did not know about this project and it is so awesome! You pick ONE WORD to "be" and "let your word guide you to take action throughout the year".

My word is EMPOWER. I want to accomplish a lot in 2009, and rather than writing out a long list of things I must do, I will put them all under the umbrella of being EMPOWERED.
It's true...we tend to fail at resolutions of the "must do" category.
I will start at the "be" level, and all these accomplishments will follow suit.

Follow me?

Friday, January 2, 2009

Now What?



Me & my hatchling spent another fabulous New Years Eve in Toronto with my brother.
That city is wild!! We went out for awhile in the evening and then settled into our own party. At midnight, you could hear the whole city screaming in unison...it was crazy! We had so much fun, and I wish I had the nerve, (and the finances) to be a single mom in a big city like that.













We got back home yesterday afternoon and have been stuck in that "lull" ever since. That anti-climatic stillness after the Christmas rush of shopping, visiting, eating and gift opening, eating and visiting, eating and spending our days with loved ones.

The excitement of ringing in another year and realizing that each year seems to pass more quickly than the one before it. The resolutions and promises that we make to ourselves, only to be hit with a more realistic version of our lives a couple weeks into January.

It all seems surreal now. All the excitement and preparations. Decorating the tree, wrapping presents.
And yet, here we are, "another year over" as John Lennon wrote in his Happy X-mas song..."and what have you done?"

I don't know about you guys, but I feel like I haven't "done" much with 2008.
Sure I raised my hatchling through another year, and I moved (again). I continued on my spiritual journey, discovered some new and wonderful things, met some new and wonderful people... but like every year, I didn't live up to the resolutions I made.

So this year, I'm not making any.
I'm just gonna zen out and live each day as it comes. I'm going to try my very best to make each day count. To think positive thoughts and do positive things, and surround myself with positive people.
I'm going to choose to be happy, even when life feels crappy. I'm going to take better care of myself and my home. I'm going to eat right consistently. I'm going to avoid energy suckers.
I'm going to set the best example that I can to my hatchling. I'm going to make quality time to spend with her. Between the responsibilities of work and school, and the other million things we do each day, I'm going to make a conscious effort to connect with her on a daily basis. She's getting older and friends are slowly becoming more important (& more fun) than me. And that's okay...that's the way it should be. But I just don't want her growing away from me in these next formative years.
hmmm....these kind of sound like resolutions, don't they? Well... they're not. lol
I'm just taking this new year and using it for the groundwork to reinforce myself, my beliefs, and my awesome relationship with my daughter.

Tune in to read more of Boho mom's journey into 2009! (I WILL get a car this year!)

Happy New Year everyone!!!
xo

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