The Relevance of the X-mas Tree~

"Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall" ....author Larry Wilde

So who all has their Christmas / X-mas / Yule / Solstice / Holiday tree up?

Hatchling and I had some fun spending part of the weekend re-arranging our living room furniture to accommodate the ole festive greenery.(hence her performing "back of the couch ballet" and other various poses ...gotta love her.)

Our tree is artificial, always. First reason -  I could never bring myself to chop down a real tree or buy one at one of those lots where trees are grown and cut specifically for the X-mas season.

Second reason - I remember going with my dad every year to the "Christmas tree lot" in our small town. He'd buy a tree, I'd be all excited. We'd get it home and my mother, the queen of psycho-bitches would be unsatisfied with the way the tree slanted or a particular branch sticking out, and we'd have to take the tree back and try another one. After spending an entire afternoon and about 5 or 6 trees later (and my poor, flustered and humiliated father wanting to crawl into a hole), she'd finally agree on one. And then she'd yell about pine needles all over the car and house. I think my father blew out more vacuum cleaner motors trying to suck those pine needles up at record speed just to shut her up. And it was like this Every. Single. Year. I remember when my parents finally bought an artificial tree - I'm sure that this was one of the happiest days of my dad's LIFE!!!

And then.... the decorating of the tree- omg - another fun episode with my mother bitching at me and my brother for hanging those stupid aluminum "tinsel strands", (which she called icicles) crooked, or in clumps or in some way that was not up to her standards and omg - "what would people think if the "icicles" weren't hung properly" (???)  And there she'd sit on the couch stuffing her fat face with a box of holiday chocolates and barking orders at us about which ornaments to hang where. Good times.

I remember one Christmas,specifically, wanting to string popcorn for our tree. ( I believe it was during the time in my childhood when I'd discovered the "Little House on the Prairie"books).  Well, you would've thought I'd asked for Nazis to join us for dinner. She went ballistic and yelled until it was drilled into my head that only poor people strung popcorn and how dare I request something so "GODDAMNED RIDICULOUS" when we had "nice ornaments"!!

Ummm....okay.....never brought up the popcorn idea again.....UNTIL I moved out and had my very first, very own X-mas tree to decorate. I had a huge party and invited all my friends over to string popcorn (and drink lots of booze) and we COVERED my little "Charlie Brown" tree with popcorn strings and with wild abandon and self-satisfying rebellion! 

Fast forward to my present day tree decorating mindset. When I had my hatchling, I created all new traditions. I kept none of the ornaments from my own childhood, as some people like to keep for the sake of tradition and family heirlooms and all that - no thanks. 

Instead, every year we make our own home-made ornaments.  Very cute and special.... simple ones when she was a toddler and a little more sophisticated with each growing year. 

And always, lots and lots of strung popcorn!

peace & traditons